Jonah Hex... The Movie
Hello? Is there anybody out there?
It was dark. A little too dark. I was worried about "accidentally" sitting on someone's lap as I found a seat. I didn't have to. The theater was empty. I had to look around to make sure. Nope, no one all the way in the back. No one on the floor making out (bummer). Just me. Alone.
I stretched out in a rather nice leather seat. Cinemark has upgraded since I was last here. I pop open a box of Reese's Pieces and look around again as the movie starts to see if anyone came in late. No. I feel strange. Slightly happy. This must be how Burgess Meredith felt when he was left all by himself to read every book he wanted.
I'm a big fan of Jonah Hex. He was created in 1972. DC comics liked to explore genres other than the standard superhero theme. Mike Grell's epic Warlord was their answer to Conan and other Sword and Sorcery tales. Adam Strange had a Sci Fi vibe. Jonah Hex was their answer to the Western.
He started as a player in All Star Western, moved on to be a featured player in Weird Western Tales and finally landed his own series. His first series lasted for 92 issues. Going from 1977 to 1985. After Crisis on Infinite Earths changed the DC status quo, he appeared as a space cowboy in a series called Hex. This lasted all of 18 issues and basically killed the character. He was resurrected in 1993 for a couple of western/horror miniseries and eventually given a new book in 2005 written by the amazingly talented Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray. Five years later the book is still going strong. Strong enough for a movie.
"Oh my god, he's finally about to talk about the fucking movie!?!?!"
Jonah Hex suffered from the same issues as Constantine. It was a good movie, if of B-ish quality, but it wasn't Jonah Hex.
It can best be described as Wild Wild West meets The Crow. It was like the writers were given some Jonah Hex comics to read and an issue of The Crow was somehow mixed in and they mistook it for another issue of Hex.
Really. If James O'Barr sees the movie, he should sue. It could have easy been another sequel to the Crow. It was better then Wicked Prayer. Edward Furlong? Really?
It starts out REALLY GOOD. You get a short origin sequence with John Malcovich as the evil villian and Josh Brolin as a younger Hex. It then cuts to an amazing animated scene that fleshes out the origin and does a decent job of sticking with the comic until they give him powers. Jonah Hex is a bad ass bounty hunter in the wild west. He's an amazing shot and a bad ass street fighter. He shouldn't have powers.
He was left for dead by Malcovich and saved by Indians (or native americans if you're a pc douche). Because he was so close to dead and brought back, he can now speak with the dead. If he touches a dead body they magically come back to life for a short time. Really. Fuck. This was lame and only used to push the plot twice. Totally unneeded and the worst part of the movie. In fact it's used so little that you almost forget about it.
Real quick, the indians that brought him back were part of "the crow" tribe and crows seem to follow him around. Really original.
Anyway... Malcovich fucked with his family. Turned really evil after the war. Is building a giant death machine a la Wild Wild West (this was SO MUCH BETTER then Wild Wild West).
Somewhere along the lines, Meagan Fox is a whore... plays a whore, who is love with Jonah Hex. He loves her but doesn't want to see her hurt. She's of course captured by Malcovich's Irish goon played wonderfully by Michael Fassbender. Overall she's just there for skin and really plays no real part in the movie.
Hex saves the day and lives happily ever after with Fox.
The actors were real good, Brolin and Malcovich in particular. It wasn't the best comic movie but it certainly wasn't the worst.
I liked it enough to want to pick up the blu-ray when I see it on sale for $12-$20 in a few months. It's worth a watch, maybe a rental. If it wasn't up against some really good competition in the theaters, it probably would have done better. They should have released it a month or two later.
It was dark. A little too dark. I was worried about "accidentally" sitting on someone's lap as I found a seat. I didn't have to. The theater was empty. I had to look around to make sure. Nope, no one all the way in the back. No one on the floor making out (bummer). Just me. Alone.
I stretched out in a rather nice leather seat. Cinemark has upgraded since I was last here. I pop open a box of Reese's Pieces and look around again as the movie starts to see if anyone came in late. No. I feel strange. Slightly happy. This must be how Burgess Meredith felt when he was left all by himself to read every book he wanted.
I'm a big fan of Jonah Hex. He was created in 1972. DC comics liked to explore genres other than the standard superhero theme. Mike Grell's epic Warlord was their answer to Conan and other Sword and Sorcery tales. Adam Strange had a Sci Fi vibe. Jonah Hex was their answer to the Western.
He started as a player in All Star Western, moved on to be a featured player in Weird Western Tales and finally landed his own series. His first series lasted for 92 issues. Going from 1977 to 1985. After Crisis on Infinite Earths changed the DC status quo, he appeared as a space cowboy in a series called Hex. This lasted all of 18 issues and basically killed the character. He was resurrected in 1993 for a couple of western/horror miniseries and eventually given a new book in 2005 written by the amazingly talented Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray. Five years later the book is still going strong. Strong enough for a movie.
"Oh my god, he's finally about to talk about the fucking movie!?!?!"
Jonah Hex suffered from the same issues as Constantine. It was a good movie, if of B-ish quality, but it wasn't Jonah Hex.
It can best be described as Wild Wild West meets The Crow. It was like the writers were given some Jonah Hex comics to read and an issue of The Crow was somehow mixed in and they mistook it for another issue of Hex.
Really. If James O'Barr sees the movie, he should sue. It could have easy been another sequel to the Crow. It was better then Wicked Prayer. Edward Furlong? Really?
It starts out REALLY GOOD. You get a short origin sequence with John Malcovich as the evil villian and Josh Brolin as a younger Hex. It then cuts to an amazing animated scene that fleshes out the origin and does a decent job of sticking with the comic until they give him powers. Jonah Hex is a bad ass bounty hunter in the wild west. He's an amazing shot and a bad ass street fighter. He shouldn't have powers.
He was left for dead by Malcovich and saved by Indians (or native americans if you're a pc douche). Because he was so close to dead and brought back, he can now speak with the dead. If he touches a dead body they magically come back to life for a short time. Really. Fuck. This was lame and only used to push the plot twice. Totally unneeded and the worst part of the movie. In fact it's used so little that you almost forget about it.
Real quick, the indians that brought him back were part of "the crow" tribe and crows seem to follow him around. Really original.
Anyway... Malcovich fucked with his family. Turned really evil after the war. Is building a giant death machine a la Wild Wild West (this was SO MUCH BETTER then Wild Wild West).
Somewhere along the lines, Meagan Fox is a whore... plays a whore, who is love with Jonah Hex. He loves her but doesn't want to see her hurt. She's of course captured by Malcovich's Irish goon played wonderfully by Michael Fassbender. Overall she's just there for skin and really plays no real part in the movie.
Hex saves the day and lives happily ever after with Fox.
The actors were real good, Brolin and Malcovich in particular. It wasn't the best comic movie but it certainly wasn't the worst.
I liked it enough to want to pick up the blu-ray when I see it on sale for $12-$20 in a few months. It's worth a watch, maybe a rental. If it wasn't up against some really good competition in the theaters, it probably would have done better. They should have released it a month or two later.
posted by theKrunchyFrog at
11:49:00 PM
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